Dos and Don’ts of Self-Care to Overcome Fatigue as the Parent of Special Needs Kids

By: Rhonda Underhill

If you’re a parent of one of the approximately 7.1 million children that receive special education services, it’s common to feel low on energy from time to time. However, persistent fatigue is worrisome, particularly if you’re closing in on parental burnout.

Thankfully, it’s possible to overcome fatigue as the parent of a special needs child. If you don’t know how to get started, Real Abilities provides an overview of how to estimate your fatigue level, as well as some dos and don’ts of self-care.

How Do You Estimate Your Fatigue Level?

Estimating your fatigue level requires a bit of self-reflection. While how you physically feel does play a role, you also want to assess your mental and emotional state, as well as your recent actions. Ask yourself questions like:

·         How’s your parenting effectiveness?

·         Is your child experiencing new behavioral issues?

·         Has your marital satisfaction shifted?

·         Are you struggling to maintain a healthy sleep pattern?

When you consider points like those above, you can determine the impact of fatigue with greater ease.

Dos and Don’ts of Self-Care to Overcome Fatigue

Do Rethink Your Definition of Self-Care

Many people have a tendency to view self-care as only including activities that take a while to complete. For example, they may see a lingering bubble bath, lengthy workout, or completing a chapter in a book as self-care because they involve a bit of time.

However, even small acts of self-care matter. For example, taking 60 seconds for a deep breathing exercise or doing a three-minute medication counts. So do reading a short poem, jotting down a note in a gratitude journal, or texting a friend to check in.

By realizing that self-care can be small, you can find more opportunities to engage in it. That way, it’s easier to fit into a busy day.

Don’t Treat Self-Care as a Substitute for Medical Care

Fatigue can have a wide range of causes. While the challenges of caring for a special needs child could undoubtedly be one, a variety of medical conditions. The symptoms of anxiety, depression, chronic liver disease, sleep apnea, and many other conditions can include fatigue. As a result, if your fatigue persists, seeing a medical professional is essential.

Do Pursue Your Personal Goals

As the parent of a special needs kid, it’s common to prioritize your child’s needs over your own. However, if you don’t pursue your goals, you might start to lose your sense of self, making you resentful.

If you dream of getting your Bachelor’s degree to boost your career, you can achieve that goal. By signing up for an online degree at an accredited school, you can further your education on your own terms. You can go at your own pace, allowing you to fit your education isn’t a busy schedule.

If launching a company was your dream, that’s also possible. You can create a business plan slowly over time. When it’s time to choose a structure, you can research options like forming an LLC. With an LLC, there’s less paperwork, more flexibility, limited liability, and tax advantages, all of which could be ideal, depending on your situation.

Do Ask for Help

While asking for help can be hard, it’s necessary if you’re struggling. Your support system can alleviate some of the stressors you’re dealing with, allowing you to regain your footing. Plus, they may be able to provide you with the time that you can use for self-care.

When you request assistance, try to be specific. For example, you can let your spouse know that you need help preparing dinner or ask a friend to babysit for two hours to make it easier to run a particular errand.

By being specific, you’re telling them the type of help you need and incidentally setting a timeframe for the activity. That can give them a clearer idea of what the request entails, allowing them to easily determine the amount of support involved.

Don’t Overburden Your Support System

While asking for help is wise, overburdening your support system has ramifications. When you request assistance too often, it unbalances the relationship. Once a person feels that they’re giving more than they’re getting, resentment can build. In some cases, it can irreparably harm the relationship, causing key connections to disintegrate.

Make sure you don’t turn to a single member of your support system too often. Additionally, do your best to reciprocate, finding ways to be there for them, as well. That way, everything feels even and mutually supportive.

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